Sean Landis

Sean was transported to this dimension in the form of an ancient ceremonial spear and was discovered in the rubble of what was once Manhattan. Over time, he mastered the game of Go and the art of wielding a human as a weapon. He traveled the world seeking worthy Go rivals, beating the losers to death with themselves. When he was eventually bested by Go Seigen, Landis transformed into a computer and began a career in creative accounting serving a community of well-to-do lizard people. He eventually received an honorary and posthumous degree in Dice-Loading from the Gygax School of Imaginative Lies. Today, he lives in an abandoned cracker factory broom closet where he plots his revenge.

Una Ulla

Una is the father of beloved comic artist Stan Lee, and served as the inspiration for Colossus. She was born in a ring of covered wagons in the American old west where she learned from a young age to sculpt toothbrushes from cowboy bones. She attended the Kirkland School of Bargain Design where she received twelve degrees packaged together. From there, Ulla found work as a living sound and flying jump rope assassin, which took her to the third round of Japan’s Got Talent. She is the best selling author of the unauthorized biography ‘Rob Schneider: How To Fake It Till You Lose It’ and has won numerous awards for teaching kids about the dangers of being Rob Schneider. Today, Ulla lives between the walls at the Museum of Natural History where she plots her revenge.

Timothy Wiggins

Tim was born a very special child in that, when he was born, doctors discovered that he was made of a kind of plant-based meat substitute, a rare disorder called Boccarhea. But that didn’t stop him from failing to launch a lucrative career as a comedy writer. By the age of 30, Wiggins had earned the reputation as a human ashtray and, though he is not credited, served as the physical inspiration for the Nike swoosh, his most athletic accomplishment to date. After graduating from the Frito-Lay school of Culinary Grease with a degree in underfilling bags, he found work as a spatula. Today, Wiggins lives at the bottom of a pickle jar where he plots his revenge.

Nevin Zehr

Nevin Zehr was born in a test tube in modern day New Jersey, where he began life by eating the doctor that delivered him, as is Mennonite tradition. From an early age, Zehr showed a natural talent for laying linoleum flooring, sculpting 80’s cartoon action figures from the gunk in his toes, and very small rock climbing. These would always be hobbies for Zehr, financed by his job playing the role of one of Karl Marx’s fingers in a massive, elaborate halloween costume that was rented out to parties and parades. After graduating from Dartmouth, At The Nike Rubber-Yards, Nevin co-wrote the screenplay for the Casper Mattress short film Bedsores and Back Pimples with an Aaron Sorkin look-alike who did not speak english. Today, Zehr lives on in the heart of the working people where he plots his revenge.